Single (Mom) Syndrome: From the Chick that Savors Solitude

It’s February 12th 2009 and my two year old and I have now relocated from Yonkers , NY to Miami, FL. At the present moment I am staying with my beautiful grandmother who has such an open heart. At the same time I am trying to keep my sanity. My four year old cousin is also staying with my grandmother temporarily and in the past week I have realized that I obviously (at least in my current state) can not tolerate more then one child. The squeaky voiced back to back questions. The whiney bickering. I am not too concerned about sounding mean. I love kids but it seems I could tolerate them more before I had my own. I am beyond needing a break but I refuse to spend more than one night away from my child-at least for now. Although she can be totally nerve racking, she’s adorable, intriguing and so ready to learn. I feel like I need to be there for everything-which could explain why I am so mentally and physically exhausted.
Another issue I’ve seemed to run into is trying to raise a child when you don’t have your own place to live. If you do not have your own space you probably shouldn’t be contemplating having a child or more children for that matter. First of all-it’s selfish and not to mention inconsiderate-trust me-only a special few are WILLING to raise someone else’s child(ren) unless of course, God forbid something happened to the parent(s) and they were unable to do the job themselves. I have discovered that when you live with other people, your parenting skills are usually critiqued. Even when you know as a parent that you are doing the right thing-but hey, these people (usually family) are providing you & your child with a shelter until you get on your feet so…what-are-ya-gonna-do?
To sum it up-ladies it’s difficult beyond your imagination to raise one child-let alone 16 children like that person in the media. Obviously she’s filling a void. Even if there is a man involved there are no guarantees in life. There is still a 50/50 chance according to statistics that you or even the dad may end up having to raise the child(ren) alone.
As I live, breath & write, my daughter’s father is on his way down from New York. I would probably be more excited if I wasn’t living with my grandmother already (a place where there literally is no room for his 6 ft. a*s) and if he already hadn’t lost $400.00 before he even left NY! That money being for his stay at a hotel! But I guess I’m supposed to be happy that there’s a man in my life. At least that’s the way my female peers act (with the exception of my lesbian friends of course) putting up with anything just to say they have a man. It’s 2009 B*tches (yeah, I said it). Get it together & get a grip ON YOURSELF. I’m just thanking God that I’m cut from a different cloth. A chick that savors (and misses) solitude. Peace Mi Gente!