M.O.B. (My Original Blog)

   My original blog shouts out for me to see,

"En route to reach Simple Minds, Don't You Forget About Me!"

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UntitledPhotos #2

W. 26th St. New York, NY 

Therapy

How on Earth did I end up here
And when did I become we
For a minute there I lost myself
On the search to set my soul free
Sweet baby face, innocent smile
But little do they know
I got visions in my head
All around poppin' off
Hearts on sleeves bare arms
Like a gun show

Walking past cars
I daydream like Walter Mitty
Alter ego wishing I could hot wire
I just need to unload
Before I explode
Cool on the surface
But inside I'm on fire

So the economy
Has now brought me
Back to pens, papers,shows and notebooks
I contact Avatar
Who is far from subpar
Cause he's sick
With the verses and hooks

The fears I now face
Take my foot off homebase
Break the government's grip
Dispose of my whole case
The change I can taste
Stuck here in this space
Livin' like a nomad
Movin' from place to place

Catch me if you can
Cause I'm writin' bad checks
Try to pinpoint the moment
It became so complex
I tell my MD
I got ADHD
Cause I attempted college once
And one attempt became three

So forgive me - cause I can't be
Stuck in this institution
Cause either the classes are super mundane
Or it's me who is just simply dumb
A square peg stuck in a round whole
My nature not a competitive one
And what I left with didn't amount to the sum
Of the debt that I couldn't outrun

In constant transtition
But going nowhere
I could give you my all
Or shut down and not care
I dissect what reflects
From the mirror I stare
My therapy is the stage
When I leave my soul there

S.O.S. (Save Our Sick)

So no one really wants to talk about mental illness-which should now just be considered to be moments of the human condition, for we've all had our moments of mental imbalance. The details there after make all the difference.
Yesterday for maybe the tenth time, six of which I've documented, I had to call the police on my child's father. This unfortunate event has occurred so often due to the fact that he is mentally ill and not medicated. I am not a nurse so even after all these years, I do not know how I'm supposed to deal with him, raise our child AND keep up my own mental health. Anyone who has experienced this or anything close to this, knows that it is very easy to get sucked into their circle of irrational dialogue.
Yesterday I called 911 four times and two hours later after my initial call, they showed up. By then I was in the shower and missed them but made it crystal clear that I could have been dead by then. No worries, no violence is involved. It's the principal.
Anyway, I will spare the details of my last four years but needless to say, if I am continually calling 5-0, I feel I've exhausted all possibilities. I've experienced dealing with mental illness in two different states and took note of the similar ways in which the severely mental ill are handled:

1)The police come

2)They put the patient in the back of the car

3)Drive them to the hospital

4)The hospital releases the patient

5)...And the patient ends up right back in front of your doorstep that night or the
next day, banging on your door, disturbing you and your neighbors.

6)And the cycle begins all over again.

My questions are:
Whose job is it to make sure that the extremely uncooperative patient/loved one takes their medication consistently?

Whose job is it to take care of the family member(s)who are attempting to help that individual?

I've had a cop say, "well he says you have issues too"
I've had one cop tell me "It's not his fault he's crazy" and had that same cop tell me "well I'm not going to take him BACK to the hospital if he was already there today"

Really??? Hmmmm...So now I've decided to publicize the matter before it gets worse. I personally know people who are experiencing this in one way or another and are at their wits end as well. It is not fair to anyone in the situation and for the record, I too could be considered a sick and have experienced my own bouts.

I have started a new Facebook page (yes, my fourth page)called S.O.S.(Save Our Sick). Please feel free to like, comment, give advice or share any connections that will help myself and the millions of others going through this. I was blessed with some information today and was referred to a group called NAMI and The Mobile Crisis Center. I found them to be extremely comforting. Finally someone actually understood that it is NOT only the severely mentally ill patient who is suffering.

Redemption Blog: A Long Overdue Letter to You

This entry is dedicated to the people in my life that were there for me when I was losing it, breaking down and going through it. I have the tendency to get trapped in my own mind and forget that every single being on this planet is going through their own struggle. Why you were there for me I don't know especially with me being so self indulgent, drowning in my own misery.

Nancy Accomando comes to mind first. I met her when I was 16 and although we had CRAZY fun experimenting with beers and cloves and roaming around the neighborhood late at night-this lady was there for me when I would go months without talking to her because I was depressed. Needless to say Nancy is now clear across the country and we now remain facebook friends. I love you NanYann.

Nicole Betancourt is another friend (who is actually the GodMother of my only child). She is the most balanced fair human being I know and I just want to apologize for the scare I gave you in 2004. Thank you for saving my life...literally and for continuing to be there for us.

To Phyllis and Theresa Edwards. My sisters. You've given me enough comic relief and moral support for a few more life times. We are sisters. Arguments, disagreements and all.

Angelica. I love you. You are the ride or die chick for real. I know for sure you will ALWAYS be my friend and ALWAYS keep it real.

Chandra-you remember things about me that I don't even remember. Your heart is like no other and you deserve nothing but the best in this life. Always a source of positivity and inspiration. Thank you for not judging me. That's important. I'm so happy we are still in eachother's lives.

Aimee-you taught me more than you will ever know. I remember in 4th Grade when I was forever gettin' mad at you and one day you just straight flipped it and was like-"screw that-stay mad-I don't care"-and I was like "what the h*ll is going on??? Naturally I started asking you to be my friend again! LOL! That was the first time I experienced the "ya don't miss a good thing 'til it's gone" thing. I love you. Thank you for that lesson...and for staying real and being such a cheerleader for my art. The poetry, the photography. I know we'll be friends always.

And to you Kishonda-girl you are family. We've known eachother since before we started school and it is a blessing to still have you in my life. You inspire me more than you'll ever know.

Lisa Teti!!!! Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I can explain how happy I am to have you back in my life. Please know that I am here for you like you have been here for me. You've been through so much in this past year. You are so beautiful and I know--FOR A FACT that no matter how many years go by-we can begin where we left off.


To everyone in my past-present-and future friends and family. Forgive Me for not being a good friend all the time. I am in constant transition, trying to better myself. I withdrew and withdraw as a defense mechanism and am working on that. Thank you for being my therapy. I wish you would all feel free to call me when you are going through it yourself so we can be sources of inpiration for eachother.

To all the people who did not get a personal shout out. You are not forgotten at all. I just know these ladies deserve to hear this. we've been through alot. Together and apart.

I TRULY LOVE YOU. Thank you for being my friend-even when I didn't deserve it.

Yonkers & The Way I See It

Yonkers, New York by Rashida J. Reeves | Make Your Own Book

Charmed

Charmed by Rashida J. Reeves | Make Your Own Book

Single

So I'm back to being a single mom which means I should be getting fired soon. That's usually how it works. Back to asking someone if they can watch my daughter for a few hours and so on and so forth. We'll see how it goes. Stressing never helps, so I'll do my very best not to. Either way I have to keep it moving and hope the best for everyone...though my heart is broken. Ironically, it's Mother's Day.
Moving on, I'm still hustlin'- single or not. I still have two books on sale, Book I and Charmed, as well as some work on Cafepress.com/EllamentImages. Feel free to purchase a thing or too and please spread the word. Follow me at Twitter.com/Ellamentimages or Facebook.com/EllamentImages. Call me if you need me ~ I'm speaking as photographer and a friend.

914.979.4277 (subject to change as my good friends an family know)

rashidareeves@yahoo.com
rashidareeves@rocketmail.com

33 and the Welcomed Evolution

I was born in the first month of the year which pleases me because if I screw up on my New Year's Resolutions, my birthday is always my next option of days to make change-but fortunately the changes that have occurred in my life in 2011 are happening effortlessly. I'm learning a lot about things in my childhood that have been a mystery to me ~ as well as realizing that just because you've known someone from your past for a long time does not mean you have to bring them into your future. Sometimes it is those people from your past that think they know you so well that actually try to keep you from progressing and feel as though they have a right to label you. There are around six BILLION people in this world which leaves me with six BILLION opportunities to change my circle. A Facebook friend of mine by the name of George Lott recently posted: Show me 3 of your best friends and I'll show you your future. That has been in my head ever since I read it.

Luckily I've never had a problem being alone. Growing up in a house with 10 people, I had to search for solitude and it remains to this very day. People and the issues they bring can be dangerous and I myself can come off very...mmmm...cold. After losing my Great Aunt in 2002, I've discovered that I can actually take or leave anyone else that comes into my life (with the exception of my child which to me is a given).

Like everyone else on this planet, we've all been disappointed and hurt by people we love. Some people have no problem returning to that source of disappointment or pain while others learn and move on. What I've learned in my 33rd year of this life is that there is no point in trying to please ANYONE except myself and to provide love, food, water and shelter for my daughter. Only so many people will love you unconditionally. Those people~ when they do come along, we must hold on to...because they are few and far between.

"Peace in your struggle to find peace" - S.M.

Book I

...is still available.
http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1677565#book-settings

Musical Portfolio by Ellament Images

Concrete Rose by Ellament Images

H.E.L.P. (Helping Elderly Live Properly)

Yesterday was my first training day at my customer service job when and elderly lady came up to the counter and told us how she turned away from her shopping cart for one second and someone came along and took it. I told her after asking my trainer if it was okay that I would come around and somehow help her find what appeared to be a needle in a haystack. I decided to make an announcement which seemed to be the easiest solution but couldn't quite figure out how I'd word this situation over the P.A. system without having my co-workers laugh at me in the middle of it (we all seemed to find each other quite amusing). So instead I attempted to search the store myself and even went outside to see if another employee took it outside. Finally the woman and her family who took the cart realized what they did and brought it back to customer service where he woman was still barely standing~which made us both happy. I noticed though that no one really seemed that concerned maybe assuming eventually it would show up. I just imagined her going back home without it and possibly having to be more inconvenienced by retrieving another one but was very happy that was all able to be avoided.
I've always had a soft spot for the elderly. Besides animals and babies, they are the only other beings that can make me cry when something cruel happens to them. Even though sometimes they can be mean which is what I discovered after working in a nursing home five years ago, it all seemed to be justified. Most of them were not even visited by their children and families which is just so sad. Imagine surviving this world, raising your children and working hard only to be left alone in your remaining days. Left only with your thoughts and memories. Everyone deserves care. Which is why I've decided to stop thinking of the things I want -when I am blessed with everything I need.
Honestly I spend more time then I need to worrying about my and my child's own survival when I have food, shelter clothes, mobility and consciousness. There is absolutely no reason why I can't do anything to help. As opposed to running around trying to find a job just to survive, I think it's time for me to get out of my head and step outside of myself for once.
I am currently in Yonkers, NY but am willing to help in towns in the vicinity. If you would also like to be apart of H.E.L.P. please let me know. I will be beginning in January of 2011 and Ella will accompanying me on the weekends when she's not in school. I've noticed she has the ability to bring smiles to people's faces. For additional information or questions on how you'd like to help me out, I can be reached at 914. 265.3771.
Thank you ~

Classism Vs. Humanitarianism...Here We Go Again

Attention America! Can we grow some balls please! Everyone is so afraid to open their mouths about the nonsense going on in this place so apparently I have to do like the Doobie Brothers and start "takin' it to the streets". I had another little oh let's just say -tiff with a governmental institution that is meant to assist. After waiting two months for a response as to whether my four year old will be getting medical insurance, I called yesterday to find out her status, only to be told that our application was not even in the system. Mind you, I went to the Department of Social Services two days in a row-like they asked. Not to mention that I had security called on me the first day because of yet another rude employee disrespecting my time. I politely and loudly let everyone know that my time is as valuable as hers, her co-workers, and all the other people in there who were in need of something. Naturally the security guard saw my point and gave me the commissioner's number. Soon after, other people began to approach me telling me their stories and asking for the commisioner's number as well. What totally blew my mind was how everyone was lookin' at me as if to say,"wow-that's the truth!" What the f*ck people? Just because you are in a place like that does NOT MEAN you have to be at the mercy of these horrible, classless, cold, heartless, numb and quite lucky government employees who could just as well be on the other side of that glass tomorrow.
For all of you who are getting by and have been able to get by in this life without having to deal with any of these poorly organized institutions GOD BLESS YOU. But to be honest with you I feel I am experiencing this for a reason. I don't mind getting off of my a*s working. Especially when Westchester County-who will immediately shift the blame to Albany gives you $68.00 every two weeks to provide for you and your family. WHO THE F**K can survive on $34.00 a week. By the way-in order to get that $34.00 a week, you have to give the Dep. of Social Services 8hrs. of your time a day. Does that make any sense. When are you supposed to look for a job. Now I on the other hand begin my new job on Monday-today is Friday. That's a blessing although I usually don't have a hard time getting a job at all-it's keeping the job that ends up being my problem because I either get bored or end up realizing that the job is not making a difference on this planet! Either way, whether I have a job or not, there are still hundreds and thousands of people who are trying not to give up. Hundreds and thousands of people struggling to get food on the table. While these ignorant scared to death of losin' their millions rich mother f*ckers are like DOGS TRYING TO PROTECT THEIR BOWLS OF FOOD-hence the crime rate going up in wealthy neighborhoods. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE POINT OUT HOW GREEDY CERTAIN POLITICAL PARTIES ARE. GREEDY. Then they have the AUDACITY to use the term SOCIALISM like it's a bad thing! Are y'all serious????? KEEP YOUR MONEY. Much of the wealthy was born into it so gimme a break with the "I worked hard for it bullsh*t!" You don't have to give people money to help them by the way. KNOWLEDGE HELPS PEOPLE. COMPASSION HELPS PEOPLE. GREED HELPS YOURSELF-and that sh*t is ADMIRED?!!! Do you guys seriously look up to greedy bastards? Of course if you work hard it'll pay off and it's up to you to be human enough to use your wealth for good. I mean you can't take it with you when you go. Which is why the SOUL of an individual should be the focus! But like the Bible says in Mark 8:36 - and we are a Bible beatin'country: For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
GET YOUR SH*T STRAIGHT AMERICA and to all you greedy bastards-STOP CRYING! Money does NOT make you a better person. As a matter of fact-it seems to have quite the opposite effect.
I have no doubt in my mind that myself, my child and my family will be financially well off for the simple fact that I wont have it any other way and I'm a hard worker with the soul of a hustler. But when I start to become possessed by the fear of losing my wealth-put me out of my misery because that will be the beginning of my journey to HELL!

H.U.M.A.N.

So yesterday after I woke up. I was annoyed by the fact that it was election day. Politics are just so obnoxious, at least the nonsense I see on t.v. I am currently in a household where the television stays on CNN, MSNBC etc. All I am witnessing is how afraid certain parties are. Claiming to want their country back, a country that was stolen from the beginning, It seems these are the original thugs. The thugs some of the American people should be afraid of. But no one should be afraid. We have the power. The entire system to me is a joke. So being that we are in the land of the free, I feel very free to speak my mind. You can't take something back that was never yours. People were brought from another country to work this American land while many were physically abused and raped. These are facts that have shaped our country. Facts that people have no idea how to deal with. Well I'm bored with others fears. Seek help for your fear of the so called minority. "They" are in fact the majority.
So I've created a Facebook page based on peace and love. Where there is love, hate & fears cannot successfully thrive. My goal for this page is for people to share ideas of how we can evolve as a species, not regress. How we can let go of fears and slowly accept each other contrary to the stereotypes we are used to hearing. Let's be better than that. Let's be the best spirits we can be while we inhabit these human bodies. Join H.U.M.A.N (Helping Unite Man and Nation) and help to change this country which could possibly change this world.

My First Book

So my first book is up for sale and dreams are slowly manifesting. Stay tuned and please support the arts and independent artists. This is the first of many, so stay tuned.

Book I

Ellament Images

By Rashida J. Reeves

Book Preview

It's About That Time

So on Friday I got fired from the place that the last blog was about. Honestly I began to feel like it was a matter of time. I've come to the realization that I have even less patience then I thought I had and absorbing information like entire menus has no more room in my life-or maybe never did. If you remember, this was the same issue I had with another more known restaurant. Truth is, I don't give a crap what comes on a chicken sandwich or what type of cheese is in the "who gives a da*n" pasta- which is a clear sign that the only thing I need to be doing in a restaurant is being served and taking pictures. It's up to the rest of you to do your own research on what is going into your mouth.

Moving on... I've discovered that I can no longer work for anyone except myself. People just don't have basic manners anymore and really don't mind making others feel uncomfortable and I have no time for that. If I don't have to deal with it-I wont. So like any other dismissal in my past-it was written already (meaning it was supposed to be) and boy am I not arguing. So I am extremely excited about taking steps towards hustlin' my work in a form so true to this city-on the NY street! Nothin' stoppin' me. No one over my shoulder, no fake smiles, AAAAGGGGHHHHH! I'm lovin' it!!! I am very wet behind the ears though and am ALL ears for any advice on what to expect. I'm in the process of getting my sales tax id and while researching what it takes, I discovered artists no longer need a commercial vending license as of 1996. So once again we begin another adventure in my life. Thanks for ridin' with me...& believing in me.

Friedman's Lunch

This is where I work. Cool vibe, cool food, cool people. Come check us out.
Friedman's Lunch
9th Avenue btwn 15th & 16th St.
New York, NY

info@friedmanslunch.com

Hours
Mon.-Fri. 8 am - 9 pm
Sat. 10 am - 8 pm
Sun 10 am - 5 pm

The Installation of Reverend Norman Graves Sr.

Yesterday evening, my family and I traveled back to my home county in upstate New York to celebrate the installation of Reverend Norman Graves Sr. into the First Baptist Church in South Fallsburgh. I always find it an honour to be in his presence because of his calming spirit, something that I grew up with. A spirit that resided inside of my great aunt.
My aunt Rachel and Norman Graves have been married for 23 years. The tests they were given in this life turned into inspirational testimonies and would make the most stubborn atheist believe in...something. But my own expierience with his true generosity came when I was at a point in my life that I can only really describe as a dark period. I saw no light in my life and desperately took it upon myself to swallow twelve unknown pills and a codeine. After what seemed to be just hours in the hospital, my sister showed up along with Reverend Graves and my aunt Rachel to pray for me. Something they didn't have to do but something I would never forget. In heinsight-I feel that was a selfish thing for me to do. Had I stopped and realized that they had their own trials and tribulations, like the loss of their own son, my beautiful cousin Spencer, as well as an illness that left Norman hospitalized for weeks and the partial loss of his sight leaving him legally blind. But that's what spirits like his do. They are completely selfless.
Reverend Graves is also blessed with the gift to bring tears to your eyes when he sings. I remember when he and my aunt met in Friendship Baptist Church,they would always ask him to sing a solo which would inevitably get the congregation exhilarated and emotional. My Uncle Norman is a good man. My aunt Rachel is a good woman and all of their children, Norman Graves Jr., Julius Graves and the twins Elisha and Eleisha are beautiful and very special. I'm honored to be born into my family.
Congratulations Reverend and Sister Graves. You are loved








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