Single (Mom) Syndrome: From the Chick that Savors Solitude

It’s February 12th 2009 and my two year old and I have now relocated from Yonkers , NY to Miami, FL. At the present moment I am staying with my beautiful grandmother who has such an open heart. At the same time I am trying to keep my sanity. My four year old cousin is also staying with my grandmother temporarily and in the past week I have realized that I obviously (at least in my current state) can not tolerate more then one child. The squeaky voiced back to back questions. The whiney bickering. I am not too concerned about sounding mean. I love kids but it seems I could tolerate them more before I had my own. I am beyond needing a break but I refuse to spend more than one night away from my child-at least for now. Although she can be totally nerve racking, she’s adorable, intriguing and so ready to learn. I feel like I need to be there for everything-which could explain why I am so mentally and physically exhausted.
Another issue I’ve seemed to run into is trying to raise a child when you don’t have your own place to live. If you do not have your own space you probably shouldn’t be contemplating having a child or more children for that matter. First of all-it’s selfish and not to mention inconsiderate-trust me-only a special few are WILLING to raise someone else’s child(ren) unless of course, God forbid something happened to the parent(s) and they were unable to do the job themselves. I have discovered that when you live with other people, your parenting skills are usually critiqued. Even when you know as a parent that you are doing the right thing-but hey, these people (usually family) are providing you & your child with a shelter until you get on your feet so…what-are-ya-gonna-do?
To sum it up-ladies it’s difficult beyond your imagination to raise one child-let alone 16 children like that person in the media. Obviously she’s filling a void. Even if there is a man involved there are no guarantees in life. There is still a 50/50 chance according to statistics that you or even the dad may end up having to raise the child(ren) alone.
As I live, breath & write, my daughter’s father is on his way down from New York. I would probably be more excited if I wasn’t living with my grandmother already (a place where there literally is no room for his 6 ft. a*s) and if he already hadn’t lost $400.00 before he even left NY! That money being for his stay at a hotel! But I guess I’m supposed to be happy that there’s a man in my life. At least that’s the way my female peers act (with the exception of my lesbian friends of course) putting up with anything just to say they have a man. It’s 2009 B*tches (yeah, I said it). Get it together & get a grip ON YOURSELF. I’m just thanking God that I’m cut from a different cloth. A chick that savors (and misses) solitude. Peace Mi Gente!

Oh My! Oh Myspace!!!

Okay, I decided to get back on myspace (for the third time) ONLY to get the word out there about my blog. It's easy to get "friends" on there and it's usually easy to find your real friends & sometimes it's a little too easy for people to find YOU! I left this last time because being that we are alive at such a significant time for human existence, I was tired of all the superficial, ego-driven energy coming from myspace. Anyway- I decided to join again a few days ago & of course- I see now that they have added politics to one of there categories. Uh Duh!!! Finally Tom! I mean we only vote next month! How long has this campaigning been going on? But that's not what is triggering this blog-NOW that I'm back-I CAN'T EVEN LOG ON!!!! Are you kidding me? All this myspace technical error crap. C'mon now. I really don't want to have to join boring a*s Facebook again!
www.myspace.com/i1978

Water

"We forget that the life cycle and the water cycle are one"-Jacques Cousteau

***

PEACE & LOVE.

(Untitled) The Chosen Few

I stand on the roof
And look down at the town
With my riverfront view
Even the water is brown
Noise & chaos surrounds me
I wish not for a sound
I close my eyes for a minute
To make my heartbeat slow down

They talk so loud
But I don't hear a thing
Everyday I tell myself
That today I'll be clean
I learn everyday
Folks are not what they seem
The darkness moves over to shadow my gleam

I was dead
I mean I moved & I walked & I talked
But at that three o'clock hour
In my mind I felt stalked by my faults
Before I knew it
It seemed nothing was clear
I see a reflection of myself
But am I really here?

I got lost in it
I got lost in you
And for a little minute
My perception was askew
I know that I don't know
What it is I thought I knew
Longing to be part of
And among the chosen few

©2008

Well Put John Lewis!

I just finished reading The Buzz on Yahoo. Something I normally don't do unless a headline grabs my attention and today's headline began with the McCain/Palin party not having "a stellar weekend" like Brittany (oh brother). Anyway, the article goes on to say how John Lewis, a civil rights figure and someone who McCain himelf once recognized as one of the three wise people he'd consult as president, condemned their campaign for "sowing seeds of hatred and division". How eloquently put-especially considering that outbursts like "Kill Him" & "He's (Obama) a terrorist!" have been shouted out at the recent Republican rallies. I heard one man, as he was surrounded by a sea of geriatric caucazoids say that "he (Obama) is not one of us". What the *%$ is that supposed to mean. Just come out & say it, ya know-like you were at your kitchen table. I'm just ESTATIC that true colors are beginning to show...and all this time you thought black people were paranoid and unjustifiably "angry". I hope some of you Obabma haters don't go postal if he wins. We don't need a larger scaled Jena 6 happening - America the Beautiful. To all you nut jobs out there: Keep it together. He's only half Negro!

The New "Bush's" Coin

Call me late but I just got an e-mail that on the new coin, the phrase "In God We Trust" is omitted. Ummm...had any other president suggested this omittion it might not seem so scary-but it does make sense to have this happen during the spawn of satan's reign. But after all, we are a country where God is refered to by different names-So maybe someone was offended by the term. Anyway-the American coin should say: In Currency We Trust. And we can't even say that anymore. Maybe In Greed or Oil We Trust. Oh gosh-I have so many ideas! Good luck everyone!

~Peace~