Imagine joy and you will find tranquility. Discover living and you will find joy.
Within minutes of posting my last blog-the woman who was my supervisor when I volunteered at the Library called me and gave me the number to volunteer coordinator of the entire county and told me she could help get me back there-or anyplace I'm interested for that matter. I'd love to help with recycling or cleaning up the filthy North Side of Miami- We're on the southside now so we're good-but seriously-I'd love to leave my footprints on this Earth in a useful way-and if I can become wealthy along the way-wealthy not rich so Ella and beyond will be secure-than, hey,that would be great. My time is important to me, as yours should be so do what you love-even if you have to wait for it.
~Peace Mi Gente
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
"Real Job"~ Get Real!
Ambition and tranquility are not good bedfellows
but success and tranquility are often discovered together~David Baird
So we're still in Miami. By the grace of God we are still surviving and in my opinion, living like royalty to not have been employed since we moved down here. It's a bit difficult finding a job down here to say the least but thanks to our good old government, we are able to eat and thanks to Eli-rent's getting paid. But let me explain what one has to do to receive cash assistance. Step one is to find an activity to be involved in- that activity either being a job, school or volunteering. In my case, I had to find an activity for 33 hours a week to receive $241.00 a month. That breaks down to $60.00 a week people! After pounding the pavement and the internet week after week, volunteering became more appealing to me. Surprisingly, it is not as easy as it seems.
The first place I experienced was a place called COPE which was a school for teen moms and expecting teen moms. I was working with a woman who taught the nursing program. She was very proud of the fact that her son was a reality show whore. After six hours which felt like six days-I did not return although I did feel like I abandoned the girls. I'm sure they didn't care.
The second place I experienced was a place I might have been able to tolerate had I not been a mother. It was an afterschool program for elementary & some middle school students. But to sum it up-these kids are bad and fresh. All I thought about was homeschooling my two-year old.
Finally a place I personally sought after and finally received an acceptance letter from-the library. A place that no matter where I live-I make a point to make my second home. But the Volunteer Coordinator refused to sign or have any other manager sign a necessary piece of paper that simply stated that they were allowing me to volunteer my time (33 hours a week I will repeat). This piece of paper is entitled: Work Site Agreement-and after hearing the word agreement over the phone, I believe he misunderstood-which became an issue.
So now I'm back at square one. I was advised by my case worker to just cancel my cash assistance which won't affect our food stamps-but will affect the childcare we were receiving. That's unfortunate because Ella loves being in school.
Yet... in all that-I feel an inexplicable belief in myself. There is something freeing about not having to wake up to a job I hate and to still be able to eat well, have a place to live and enjoy beautiful weather ..And more importantly, witness Ella's life. I always seem to luck out like that in life. Something like this happened in college. After I dropped out, I was still able to stay on campus as I watched my friends stress over finals-they hated me. Though they shouldn't have-I was unable to escape the loans of the rest for the semester.
I'm now attempting again to profit off of my writing and photography skills which is obviously what I am supposed to be doing since this real job thing is not flowing in my direction for the first time in my "real job" working history. In the meantime, I'm trying to truly find tranquility because I am in a place in my life where I can-so before you go attempting to feel bad for us-you might want to look at your own life. We have everything we need... As usual-I will keep the interested posted.
Peace,
Mi Gente
but success and tranquility are often discovered together~David Baird
So we're still in Miami. By the grace of God we are still surviving and in my opinion, living like royalty to not have been employed since we moved down here. It's a bit difficult finding a job down here to say the least but thanks to our good old government, we are able to eat and thanks to Eli-rent's getting paid. But let me explain what one has to do to receive cash assistance. Step one is to find an activity to be involved in- that activity either being a job, school or volunteering. In my case, I had to find an activity for 33 hours a week to receive $241.00 a month. That breaks down to $60.00 a week people! After pounding the pavement and the internet week after week, volunteering became more appealing to me. Surprisingly, it is not as easy as it seems.
The first place I experienced was a place called COPE which was a school for teen moms and expecting teen moms. I was working with a woman who taught the nursing program. She was very proud of the fact that her son was a reality show whore. After six hours which felt like six days-I did not return although I did feel like I abandoned the girls. I'm sure they didn't care.
The second place I experienced was a place I might have been able to tolerate had I not been a mother. It was an afterschool program for elementary & some middle school students. But to sum it up-these kids are bad and fresh. All I thought about was homeschooling my two-year old.
Finally a place I personally sought after and finally received an acceptance letter from-the library. A place that no matter where I live-I make a point to make my second home. But the Volunteer Coordinator refused to sign or have any other manager sign a necessary piece of paper that simply stated that they were allowing me to volunteer my time (33 hours a week I will repeat). This piece of paper is entitled: Work Site Agreement-and after hearing the word agreement over the phone, I believe he misunderstood-which became an issue.
So now I'm back at square one. I was advised by my case worker to just cancel my cash assistance which won't affect our food stamps-but will affect the childcare we were receiving. That's unfortunate because Ella loves being in school.
Yet... in all that-I feel an inexplicable belief in myself. There is something freeing about not having to wake up to a job I hate and to still be able to eat well, have a place to live and enjoy beautiful weather ..And more importantly, witness Ella's life. I always seem to luck out like that in life. Something like this happened in college. After I dropped out, I was still able to stay on campus as I watched my friends stress over finals-they hated me. Though they shouldn't have-I was unable to escape the loans of the rest for the semester.
I'm now attempting again to profit off of my writing and photography skills which is obviously what I am supposed to be doing since this real job thing is not flowing in my direction for the first time in my "real job" working history. In the meantime, I'm trying to truly find tranquility because I am in a place in my life where I can-so before you go attempting to feel bad for us-you might want to look at your own life. We have everything we need... As usual-I will keep the interested posted.
Peace,
Mi Gente
Friday, February 13, 2009
Single (Mom) Syndrome: From the Chick that Savors Solitude
It’s February 12th 2009 and my two year old and I have now relocated from Yonkers , NY to Miami, FL. At the present moment I am staying with my beautiful grandmother who has such an open heart. At the same time I am trying to keep my sanity. My four year old cousin is also staying with my grandmother temporarily and in the past week I have realized that I obviously (at least in my current state) can not tolerate more then one child. The squeaky voiced back to back questions. The whiney bickering. I am not too concerned about sounding mean. I love kids but it seems I could tolerate them more before I had my own. I am beyond needing a break but I refuse to spend more than one night away from my child-at least for now. Although she can be totally nerve racking, she’s adorable, intriguing and so ready to learn. I feel like I need to be there for everything-which could explain why I am so mentally and physically exhausted.
Another issue I’ve seemed to run into is trying to raise a child when you don’t have your own place to live. If you do not have your own space you probably shouldn’t be contemplating having a child or more children for that matter. First of all-it’s selfish and not to mention inconsiderate-trust me-only a special few are WILLING to raise someone else’s child(ren) unless of course, God forbid something happened to the parent(s) and they were unable to do the job themselves. I have discovered that when you live with other people, your parenting skills are usually critiqued. Even when you know as a parent that you are doing the right thing-but hey, these people (usually family) are providing you & your child with a shelter until you get on your feet so…what-are-ya-gonna-do?
To sum it up-ladies it’s difficult beyond your imagination to raise one child-let alone 16 children like that person in the media. Obviously she’s filling a void. Even if there is a man involved there are no guarantees in life. There is still a 50/50 chance according to statistics that you or even the dad may end up having to raise the child(ren) alone.
As I live, breath & write, my daughter’s father is on his way down from New York. I would probably be more excited if I wasn’t living with my grandmother already (a place where there literally is no room for his 6 ft. a*s) and if he already hadn’t lost $400.00 before he even left NY! That money being for his stay at a hotel! But I guess I’m supposed to be happy that there’s a man in my life. At least that’s the way my female peers act (with the exception of my lesbian friends of course) putting up with anything just to say they have a man. It’s 2009 B*tches (yeah, I said it). Get it together & get a grip ON YOURSELF. I’m just thanking God that I’m cut from a different cloth. A chick that savors (and misses) solitude. Peace Mi Gente!
Another issue I’ve seemed to run into is trying to raise a child when you don’t have your own place to live. If you do not have your own space you probably shouldn’t be contemplating having a child or more children for that matter. First of all-it’s selfish and not to mention inconsiderate-trust me-only a special few are WILLING to raise someone else’s child(ren) unless of course, God forbid something happened to the parent(s) and they were unable to do the job themselves. I have discovered that when you live with other people, your parenting skills are usually critiqued. Even when you know as a parent that you are doing the right thing-but hey, these people (usually family) are providing you & your child with a shelter until you get on your feet so…what-are-ya-gonna-do?
To sum it up-ladies it’s difficult beyond your imagination to raise one child-let alone 16 children like that person in the media. Obviously she’s filling a void. Even if there is a man involved there are no guarantees in life. There is still a 50/50 chance according to statistics that you or even the dad may end up having to raise the child(ren) alone.
As I live, breath & write, my daughter’s father is on his way down from New York. I would probably be more excited if I wasn’t living with my grandmother already (a place where there literally is no room for his 6 ft. a*s) and if he already hadn’t lost $400.00 before he even left NY! That money being for his stay at a hotel! But I guess I’m supposed to be happy that there’s a man in my life. At least that’s the way my female peers act (with the exception of my lesbian friends of course) putting up with anything just to say they have a man. It’s 2009 B*tches (yeah, I said it). Get it together & get a grip ON YOURSELF. I’m just thanking God that I’m cut from a different cloth. A chick that savors (and misses) solitude. Peace Mi Gente!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Oh My! Oh Myspace!!!
Okay, I decided to get back on myspace (for the third time) ONLY to get the word out there about my blog. It's easy to get "friends" on there and it's usually easy to find your real friends & sometimes it's a little too easy for people to find YOU! I left this last time because being that we are alive at such a significant time for human existence, I was tired of all the superficial, ego-driven energy coming from myspace. Anyway- I decided to join again a few days ago & of course- I see now that they have added politics to one of there categories. Uh Duh!!! Finally Tom! I mean we only vote next month! How long has this campaigning been going on? But that's not what is triggering this blog-NOW that I'm back-I CAN'T EVEN LOG ON!!!! Are you kidding me? All this myspace technical error crap. C'mon now. I really don't want to have to join boring a*s Facebook again!
www.myspace.com/i1978
www.myspace.com/i1978
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
(Untitled) The Chosen Few
I stand on the roof
And look down at the town
With my riverfront view
Even the water is brown
Noise & chaos surrounds me
I wish not for a sound
I close my eyes for a minute
To make my heartbeat slow down
They talk so loud
But I don't hear a thing
Everyday I tell myself
That today I'll be clean
I learn everyday
Folks are not what they seem
The darkness moves over to shadow my gleam
I was dead
I mean I moved & I walked & I talked
But at that three o'clock hour
In my mind I felt stalked by my faults
Before I knew it
It seemed nothing was clear
I see a reflection of myself
But am I really here?
I got lost in it
I got lost in you
And for a little minute
My perception was askew
I know that I don't know
What it is I thought I knew
Longing to be part of
And among the chosen few
And look down at the town
With my riverfront view
Even the water is brown
Noise & chaos surrounds me
I wish not for a sound
I close my eyes for a minute
To make my heartbeat slow down
They talk so loud
But I don't hear a thing
Everyday I tell myself
That today I'll be clean
I learn everyday
Folks are not what they seem
The darkness moves over to shadow my gleam
I was dead
I mean I moved & I walked & I talked
But at that three o'clock hour
In my mind I felt stalked by my faults
Before I knew it
It seemed nothing was clear
I see a reflection of myself
But am I really here?
I got lost in it
I got lost in you
And for a little minute
My perception was askew
I know that I don't know
What it is I thought I knew
Longing to be part of
And among the chosen few
©2008
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