33 and the Welcomed Evolution

I was born in the first month of the year which pleases me because if I screw up on my New Year's Resolutions, my birthday is always my next option of days to make change-but fortunately the changes that have occurred in my life in 2011 are happening effortlessly. I'm learning a lot about things in my childhood that have been a mystery to me ~ as well as realizing that just because you've known someone from your past for a long time does not mean you have to bring them into your future. Sometimes it is those people from your past that think they know you so well that actually try to keep you from progressing and feel as though they have a right to label you. There are around six BILLION people in this world which leaves me with six BILLION opportunities to change my circle. A Facebook friend of mine by the name of George Lott recently posted: Show me 3 of your best friends and I'll show you your future. That has been in my head ever since I read it.

Luckily I've never had a problem being alone. Growing up in a house with 10 people, I had to search for solitude and it remains to this very day. People and the issues they bring can be dangerous and I myself can come off very...mmmm...cold. After losing my Great Aunt in 2002, I've discovered that I can actually take or leave anyone else that comes into my life (with the exception of my child which to me is a given).

Like everyone else on this planet, we've all been disappointed and hurt by people we love. Some people have no problem returning to that source of disappointment or pain while others learn and move on. What I've learned in my 33rd year of this life is that there is no point in trying to please ANYONE except myself and to provide love, food, water and shelter for my daughter. Only so many people will love you unconditionally. Those people~ when they do come along, we must hold on to...because they are few and far between.

"Peace in your struggle to find peace" - S.M.

Book I

...is still available.
http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1677565#book-settings

Musical Portfolio by Ellament Images

Concrete Rose by Ellament Images

H.E.L.P. (Helping Elderly Live Properly)

Yesterday was my first training day at my customer service job when and elderly lady came up to the counter and told us how she turned away from her shopping cart for one second and someone came along and took it. I told her after asking my trainer if it was okay that I would come around and somehow help her find what appeared to be a needle in a haystack. I decided to make an announcement which seemed to be the easiest solution but couldn't quite figure out how I'd word this situation over the P.A. system without having my co-workers laugh at me in the middle of it (we all seemed to find each other quite amusing). So instead I attempted to search the store myself and even went outside to see if another employee took it outside. Finally the woman and her family who took the cart realized what they did and brought it back to customer service where he woman was still barely standing~which made us both happy. I noticed though that no one really seemed that concerned maybe assuming eventually it would show up. I just imagined her going back home without it and possibly having to be more inconvenienced by retrieving another one but was very happy that was all able to be avoided.
I've always had a soft spot for the elderly. Besides animals and babies, they are the only other beings that can make me cry when something cruel happens to them. Even though sometimes they can be mean which is what I discovered after working in a nursing home five years ago, it all seemed to be justified. Most of them were not even visited by their children and families which is just so sad. Imagine surviving this world, raising your children and working hard only to be left alone in your remaining days. Left only with your thoughts and memories. Everyone deserves care. Which is why I've decided to stop thinking of the things I want -when I am blessed with everything I need.
Honestly I spend more time then I need to worrying about my and my child's own survival when I have food, shelter clothes, mobility and consciousness. There is absolutely no reason why I can't do anything to help. As opposed to running around trying to find a job just to survive, I think it's time for me to get out of my head and step outside of myself for once.
I am currently in Yonkers, NY but am willing to help in towns in the vicinity. If you would also like to be apart of H.E.L.P. please let me know. I will be beginning in January of 2011 and Ella will accompanying me on the weekends when she's not in school. I've noticed she has the ability to bring smiles to people's faces. For additional information or questions on how you'd like to help me out, I can be reached at 914. 265.3771.
Thank you ~

Classism Vs. Humanitarianism...Here We Go Again

Attention America! Can we grow some balls please! Everyone is so afraid to open their mouths about the nonsense going on in this place so apparently I have to do like the Doobie Brothers and start "takin' it to the streets". I had another little oh let's just say -tiff with a governmental institution that is meant to assist. After waiting two months for a response as to whether my four year old will be getting medical insurance, I called yesterday to find out her status, only to be told that our application was not even in the system. Mind you, I went to the Department of Social Services two days in a row-like they asked. Not to mention that I had security called on me the first day because of yet another rude employee disrespecting my time. I politely and loudly let everyone know that my time is as valuable as hers, her co-workers, and all the other people in there who were in need of something. Naturally the security guard saw my point and gave me the commissioner's number. Soon after, other people began to approach me telling me their stories and asking for the commisioner's number as well. What totally blew my mind was how everyone was lookin' at me as if to say,"wow-that's the truth!" What the f*ck people? Just because you are in a place like that does NOT MEAN you have to be at the mercy of these horrible, classless, cold, heartless, numb and quite lucky government employees who could just as well be on the other side of that glass tomorrow.
For all of you who are getting by and have been able to get by in this life without having to deal with any of these poorly organized institutions GOD BLESS YOU. But to be honest with you I feel I am experiencing this for a reason. I don't mind getting off of my a*s working. Especially when Westchester County-who will immediately shift the blame to Albany gives you $68.00 every two weeks to provide for you and your family. WHO THE F**K can survive on $34.00 a week. By the way-in order to get that $34.00 a week, you have to give the Dep. of Social Services 8hrs. of your time a day. Does that make any sense. When are you supposed to look for a job. Now I on the other hand begin my new job on Monday-today is Friday. That's a blessing although I usually don't have a hard time getting a job at all-it's keeping the job that ends up being my problem because I either get bored or end up realizing that the job is not making a difference on this planet! Either way, whether I have a job or not, there are still hundreds and thousands of people who are trying not to give up. Hundreds and thousands of people struggling to get food on the table. While these ignorant scared to death of losin' their millions rich mother f*ckers are like DOGS TRYING TO PROTECT THEIR BOWLS OF FOOD-hence the crime rate going up in wealthy neighborhoods. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE POINT OUT HOW GREEDY CERTAIN POLITICAL PARTIES ARE. GREEDY. Then they have the AUDACITY to use the term SOCIALISM like it's a bad thing! Are y'all serious????? KEEP YOUR MONEY. Much of the wealthy was born into it so gimme a break with the "I worked hard for it bullsh*t!" You don't have to give people money to help them by the way. KNOWLEDGE HELPS PEOPLE. COMPASSION HELPS PEOPLE. GREED HELPS YOURSELF-and that sh*t is ADMIRED?!!! Do you guys seriously look up to greedy bastards? Of course if you work hard it'll pay off and it's up to you to be human enough to use your wealth for good. I mean you can't take it with you when you go. Which is why the SOUL of an individual should be the focus! But like the Bible says in Mark 8:36 - and we are a Bible beatin'country: For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
GET YOUR SH*T STRAIGHT AMERICA and to all you greedy bastards-STOP CRYING! Money does NOT make you a better person. As a matter of fact-it seems to have quite the opposite effect.
I have no doubt in my mind that myself, my child and my family will be financially well off for the simple fact that I wont have it any other way and I'm a hard worker with the soul of a hustler. But when I start to become possessed by the fear of losing my wealth-put me out of my misery because that will be the beginning of my journey to HELL!

H.U.M.A.N.

So yesterday after I woke up. I was annoyed by the fact that it was election day. Politics are just so obnoxious, at least the nonsense I see on t.v. I am currently in a household where the television stays on CNN, MSNBC etc. All I am witnessing is how afraid certain parties are. Claiming to want their country back, a country that was stolen from the beginning, It seems these are the original thugs. The thugs some of the American people should be afraid of. But no one should be afraid. We have the power. The entire system to me is a joke. So being that we are in the land of the free, I feel very free to speak my mind. You can't take something back that was never yours. People were brought from another country to work this American land while many were physically abused and raped. These are facts that have shaped our country. Facts that people have no idea how to deal with. Well I'm bored with others fears. Seek help for your fear of the so called minority. "They" are in fact the majority.
So I've created a Facebook page based on peace and love. Where there is love, hate & fears cannot successfully thrive. My goal for this page is for people to share ideas of how we can evolve as a species, not regress. How we can let go of fears and slowly accept each other contrary to the stereotypes we are used to hearing. Let's be better than that. Let's be the best spirits we can be while we inhabit these human bodies. Join H.U.M.A.N (Helping Unite Man and Nation) and help to change this country which could possibly change this world.